


If I Fell

by caesar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Universe, F/M, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, Mutual Pining, One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Rating will go up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 12:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19394449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caesar/pseuds/caesar
Summary: Collection of one shots surrounding Levi and Mikasa.





	1. i hope you see that i would love to love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa realizes that she holds a newfound affection for Captain Levi, and she carries it with her until she no longer can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SPOILERS for those who only watch the anime in this chapter**
> 
>   
> rated g  
> 1,414 words

It hit her quietly at first.

Mikasa first realized her feelings for her Captain had softened into something she couldn’t describe the day they found the sea. Her heart sank when Eren pointed to the horizon, asking about enemies they couldn’t yet see. Her heart swelled when Armin cradled shells and marveled at their color and the way the water glittered in the sunlight. She was unprepared to feel her heart race when she found Levi standing outside that night, his trousers rolled up to his knees as he stood in the water, the tide lazily creeping up to wash over his ankles, retreating for a few moments before repeating it’s motion again. His back was to her, but she knew he was aware of her presence by the way his back straightened slightly. She took a deep breath and then said, just loud enough for him to hear, “It’s late, Captain.”

He looked at her over his shoulder, and she felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight. His eyes were tired, his hair blown back by the cool sea-breeze. She rolled up her pants a little bit before she approached his side, casting a sideways glance at him.

“It’s all…more peaceful than I thought,” he told her in a hushed voice.

Mikasa turned to gaze up at the moon reflecting in the water. “Yeah,” she agreed.

He kicked up water away from himself suddenly, splashing her with warm ocean water. She turned to him with a surprised and curious expression, cocking an eyebrow at him. He just shrugged in response, looking down at the water wash back over his small feet.

When she caught his gaze again, however, she realized his indifference was all a facade. The way his eyes glittered like the stars in the velvet sky made her heart beat wildly, beginning to stir something foreign inside her.

* * *

Mikasa struggled with her newfound feelings for a while.

Soon after Eren left for Marley, she was faced with these conflicting emotions on a night she least expected.

Levi always stayed up late drinking tea. He hardly slept and he could be found working through a pot of tea to pass the time, reclining in one of the uncomfortable chairs of the mess hall as he read. Mikasa didn’t care for reading the way Armin and Levi did, but she liked to listen to them talk about their books. It reminded her of her mother reading to her as a child and retelling stories at night before bed.

On a particularly stormy night, she couldn’t sleep, so she went to find Levi with his soothing chamomile tea. He was in the same spot as always, hunched over a book, a cup of tea held by the rim in his other hand. He casted a glance up to her as she approached, nudging the seat beside him with his foot. Mikasa grabbed a spare cup from the kitchen before returning to accept the silent offer, pouring herself a cup of tea. The water was mildly hot still, the light scent relaxing her tense shoulders.

“Can’t sleep again?” Levi asked her even though he already knew the answer.

“The thunder makes it difficult,” Mikasa confessed. She didn’t have her scarf on since she was just asleep, but she felt the urge to reach for it out of habit.

He shut his book and shifted in his seat to face her. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a clap of thunder that made Mikasa jump slightly, startled.

She refocused on him when he kicked her shin as he said something to her. The way his eyebrow was quirked told her that he was repeating himself. “It’s just the storm, Mikasa.”

“Your feet are freezing,” she complained as she glared weakly at him, unfazed by his deadpan expression even if his words helped ease her anxiety.

Levi kept his expression neutral as he kicked her again, savoring the flinch and squeak Mikasa made as his foot made contact with her leg again.

“You weirdo,” she growled, her smile betraying her.

“If it gets you to relax, call me a weirdo all you want,” he retorted. He picked up the his cup to take another sip of tea, hiding his own amusement behind the rim. Mikasa could see how the corners his eyes crinkled for a brief moment. Her face felt hot under his gaze, fondness hidden behind the cool silver.

Instead of shifting away nervously the way she felt inclined to, she bumped her foot against his, not moving away from his feet even if it made her shiver. She poured more tea into Levi’s cup before refilling her own. She didn’t miss the way his lips twitched upward, or how he nudged her again, being deliberately gentle with her.

* * *

She didn’t expect herself to be the one to make the first move.

The night before they left Paradis, he found her alone in her room, her scarf pulled up to cover her mouth and nose comfortingly. He knocked before entering, pausing as he saw her curled up on her windowsill with her knees hugged to her chest.

“We leave at dawn,” he reminded her. When she didn’t respond, he sighed. “You should be sleeping.”

“So should you,” she shot back in a low voice.

Levi shut the door behind him before he approached, sitting down on the remaining space of the windowsill. He looked outside—they were at the base by the sea, so the view was admittedly nicer than those within the walls. “I know you’re worried about him. We’ll get him back,” he promised. She finally flicked her gaze to him, a flurry of emotions swirling in her gray eyes. Levi was many things to her, but a liar was not one, so she let her hold on her knees relax.

She pulled down her scarf so she could respond to him. “What if we don’t come back?” she asked timidly, her eyes shining with worry.

“Then we don’t,” Levi said plainly. “But he will. He has to.”

Her legs slide off the edge of the sill, one of her knees coming to rest against his. “I want us to come back,” she affirmed as she held his gaze, leaning forward slightly. Her heart fluttered, fighting the urge to act on her feelings. She felt like a silly girl with a crush, but being faced with the possibility of losing this moment made her brave.

“Then we will,” he pledged.

_Or maybe I’m just reckless_ , she thought as she saw how his eyes softened with his words.

She reached out to him, her hand resting on his chest. His eyes were sharp, watching every move carefully, but his pupils dilated as she touched him. She felt his heartbeat beneath her fingertips, drumming like her own. When he didn’t move away, she inched her hand up to the side of his neck, sliding so that she felt the fine hairs of his undercut. He was surprisingly warm, so she moved closer and put her other hand to his cheek. She felt encouraged by the hint of color on his face and how he leaned into her touch, and she risked her heart as she closed the small distance between them a little too eagerly, his own breathing hitching when her lips met his. His hands finally found her, one hand resting on her arm while the other came to the back of her neck, threading his slender fingers through her short hair. He took the lead instantly; when her lips parted in a pleasant sigh, his tongue slid along hers, prying her open gently.

Warmth bloomed inside her, blossoming under his touch. Mikasa pulled away to breathe, his lips wet from their kiss. His eyes were clear, tender with fear of rejection and a desire to keep her close; she knew that her own reflected the same to him.

“You don’t—“ Levi tried to offer, but Mikasa cut him off, silencing his worries with a kiss. His hands tightened their hold in turn, his passion ignited with her at the center.

She hoped that he could see from how she kissed him, just as she could tell from the way he held her like something precious, that she would cherish this feeling between them. She was content not naming this emotion just yet despite already knowing what it is, instead savoring this new beginning for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know your thoughts in the comments! if you have requests for this pairing, i'll gladly do what i can as well!
> 
> much love


	2. i and love and you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> she loves him - she just doesn't say so until he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rated g; established relationship, canon universe, fluff, all around soft feelings
> 
> 585 words
> 
> this hit me while listening to a feelsy playlist, so it's nice and short and (hopefully) enough to hit you in your emotions for a moment.
> 
> enjoy <3

She’s told him countless times that she loves him.

While Mikasa may have never said so explicitly, she’s shown Levi every time they’re together. She shows him when she stays up cleaning with him when his ghosts haunt him the most, going until the sun begins to creep over the horizon and make the sky bleed orange and red. She traces the words into his skin when her fingertips dance over the numerous scars adorning his body, following the permanent scarring left from their ODM gear. She feels the words get caught in her throat when they kiss, his tongue sliding along her lower lip, his hands roaming up her back and appreciating her sculpted body. She wants to say them when she kisses along his jawline and lingers over his ear, nibbling at his earlobe and licking the spot underneath his ear that makes him shiver without fail.

Mikasa almost blurts it out when they stay up one night in bed, the window open and allowing the moonlight to wash over them, nude and sleepy with sheets haphazardly around their waists. Levi’s eyebrows aren’t furrowed, the usual crease of frustration absent from his expression as he looks at her. His silver eyes shone in the moonlight and look divine, like a blade glinting under the light. His skin looks like stone, the shadows accentuating the curves of his muscles and hiding the white lines of his scars, lying before her like a piece of art from one of Armin’s books.

One rainy day they’re coming back from training, exhausted and bodies aching from exertion. Hoods drawn, they’re walking back together from the stables, silent as the rain pounds the gravel around them.

The door to the barracks is visible, so she’s surprised when Levi stops abruptly, turning to look at her with a stony expression. Anyone else would be intimidated and assume they somehow pissed off their Captain, and would ask what to do next.

Mikasa knows better.

She can see the way his jaw is clenched and his cheeks are flushed a light shade of pink.His hands are fisted at his sides, knuckles white. His eyes are trained on hers, so she speaks to him calmly. “What is it, Levi?”

Levi’s eyes widen imperceptibly, and then he does the unthinkable.

He closes the distance between them in a second, grabbing her roughly by the back of her head and pulling her down, getting on his toes as he kisses her. Her lips feel bruised but she matches his intensity, sensing the urgency and desperation from him. His breathing hitches through his nose as she reciprocates, tilting his head to slot his mouth against hers to better deepen the kiss.

She cups his face in her hands before threading her fingers through his silky hair, uncaring that she’s freezing in the rain because his skin is hot under her touch. Her skin burns when he groans at how she bites his lip. He breaks their kiss for the briefest of moments—hardly even breaks away, really, because she’s following after him when he parts for a breath, still connected by a strand of saliva until the rain continues to fall between them.

“I love you,” Levi murmurs, his voice hushed like he’s confessing a closely held secret to her.

Mikasa hides her flustered expression in another kiss, heightened passion drawing her to him. She whispers the words back to him, knowing that he hears her because she feels him smile against her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's my birthday tomorrow (the 11th!)! leave comments or requests for more rivamika goodies <3 only if you want to, of course ;)
> 
> next chapter will _definitely_ be longer.
> 
> much love


	3. when i see you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi doesn't realize that he's fallen for Mikasa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> request from Kronos: "As for a request how about a story where Levi doesn't realize he's falling or has fallen for Mikasa? I think he's the type who has trouble processing his feelings and expressing himself."
> 
> rated t; levi swears, canon universe, quiet fluff moments, hurt/comfort in a way at the end.  
> 1,663 words

Paperwork is the fucking bane of Levi’s existence. He could slaughter a dozen titans with no hesitation or error. He can take down grown men twice his size and hardly break a sweat. He would face any human or titan asked of him and fearlessly do so.

But paperwork? Reports?

“Fuck this shit,” Levi grumbles to himself.

“Captain?”

He raises his head sharply at the voice in his doorway, narrowing his eyes as he focuses on Mikasa in the threshold, holding a tray of tea.

“Mikasa.” He addresses her as he regards her. She’s out of uniform, given the evening hour, but she stands with perfect posture at attention. “What is it?”

“I made tea, sir. I figured you would want some while you work; you usually do.”

Her answer is easy, her tongue loose as she explains. He watches the steam slowly billow from the neck of the pot, and his nostrils flare with want. He sets down his pen as he leans back in his chair, adjusting the pen so it lays straight. “Come join me, then.”

Mikasa does as she’s told, pouring him a cup of the dark liquid. It smells mildly familiar—there’s bergamot, telling of the Earl Grey that he usually drinks, but there’s something else. As if she can read his mind, she provides the missing ingredient. “It’s a mixture of Earl Grey and vanilla. I found the blend when Sasha and I went into town earlier today.”

Levi pauses as he holds his cup by the rim, unfazed by the temperature that stings his fingertips or the heat that drifts up to his palm. He locks eyes with Mikasa, steel meeting steel, and she doesn’t waver. Her hair begins to fall into her face until she breaks their stare-off, tucking the loose strands behind her ear as he continues to observe her. She averts her gaze to the spare cup, hesitating until he speaks up again.

“I said to join me, brat.”

This gets her to look up again, her gray eyes brighter. He hides his expression as he drinks, chalking up the heat spreading in his chest to the tea being so freshly made.

Mikasa pulls up the spare chair opposite him at his desk before pouring her own tea. She gives it a smell, inhaling deeply before she sips it. Her slender fingers wrap around the body of the cup.

“The tea is good,” he tells her, his eyes lingering on her hands before raising back to her face. She’s already watching him with pink cheeks. He figures she’s always hotter than normal with that damn scarf on all the time.

“Thank you, sir.” She lowers her face, shadowed by her hair in the low light. “I added some honey, too.”

Levi cocks an eyebrow; honey is expensive for a soldier. When he takes another sip, the sweetness really comes through now that he knows what it is. “How did you know I was up?”

“You always seem to be,” she answers honestly.

Ever since they returned from the ocean, things have felt different. She seeks him out, offering tea as a way to weasel into his office. This routine is familiar now, and he relishes her company. She doesn’t pester him with incessant chatter the way Connie does, or hold him in too high regard how Eren has. She brings quiet conversation, and Levi gives that back in turn.

His body is warm by the time she leaves once the pot is emptied. He blames the tea and summer air.

* * *

One evening he finds himself on the armchair in the common area, trying to read some reports. On the sofa sits Armin, Mikasa, and Eren, all chattering quietly to each other. Eren has an arm draped across the back of the sofa behind Mikasa and Armin, his fingers at the base of Armin’s neck, absently brushing the blonde’s collar. Mikasa’s feet are pulled up, her knees bent and her toes slightly under Eren’s thigh. Her shoulder is pressed flush against Armin’s, leaning against him leisurely. Armin is only partially engrossed in his book, chiming in every so often to the other two’s conversation. Levi catches Mikasa’s eye when he glances up, noticing the way her gaze flits away and how she hides her mouth with her scarf when she’s caught staring.

He notices the way she has to be touching the two boys in some capacity every time she shifts in her seat.

Annoyed by their closeness, he abruptly stands and heads to his office to finish reading the damn reports there. He’s hardly through the same few pages he was trying to read when he runs his hand through his hair, messing it up as he growls, frustrated that he can’t concentrate.

A knock at his door makes him want to throw the reports at whoever is bothering him. “What?” he barks.

“It’s me, Captain.” Mikasa’s voice is quiet from the other side of the door, yet it echoes in his ears as his heart beats in his throat. “Can I come in?”

“Fine,” he manages to say. She enters with her chin up, her mouth not hidden behind her scarf the way she usually does. He’s gripping his reports so tightly that it’s causing the papers to crinkle where he holds them. “What is it?”

She sits across the desk from him in her normal spot, folding her hands in her lap as she holds his gaze evenly. “I wanted to apologize if we were bothering you, sir.”

Levi opens his mouth to tell her to not be so stupid, that she wasn’t bothering him, but he ends up just gaping for a moment as he realizes the red-hot burn in his chest that makes his hands tighten into fists isn’t irritation with her.

He’s simply jealous.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he finally gets out.

He’s jealous of that bond they all have. He misses his own two young, reckless friends that he used to sit so closely with.

That has to be it. What else could he be jealous of?

“Can I get you tea?” she asks in a soft voice. Her gray eyes are warm as she regards him; his fingers uncurl around the papers slowly. He tries to smooth out the creases, quickly abandoning the task after a moment of her awaiting his answer.

He sighs. “Sure. Bring yourself a cup, too. I could use the company.”

He forgets about her toes against Eren’s thigh, her shoulder against Armin’s, choosing to focus on the small smile she gives him when he relaxes as he drinks the tea she made.

* * *

Everything culminates after a particularly stressful day.

Everything that could’ve gone wrong has gone wrong. He could list every little detail, but what got under his skin the most was overhearing Floche’s shitty voice mention Erwin’s name. He didn’t hear the context, nor does he care to know it, but hearing that bastard talk about the late Commander makes Levi’s blood boil with guilt.

Levi cleans until he falls apart.

He cleans the tops of bookshelves and cabinets. He scrubs the baseboards of the mess hall, ignoring the way his knees throb and his back screams at him for relief. His clothes become dirty from the grime he finds on every surface, his chest impossibly tight as he repeats his list of things to clean to himself mentally.

The floors. The shelves. The spines and tops of the books that no one reads. The showers. The desk and the drawers in the desk. Underneath every tabletop because everyone always misses it.

“Captain,” Mikasa calls out to him from somewhere behind him. “It’s late. You’ve been cleaning all night.”

Levi doesn’t listen.

“Captain Levi—it’s almost dawn.”

He doesn’t even hear her, fixated solely on the sound of the brush scraping the floor.

“ _Levi_.”

Mikasa’s tone is firm and unwavering, and while Levi hears her this time, he doesn’t respond. His movements falter, betraying his otherwise empty expression.

She takes deliberate steps toward him, reaching out to catch his arm. He flinches away sharply, almost knocking her hand in the process. “Don’t—“ he begins, catching himself. “Let me finish.”

He doesn’t have to look up to know she’s mulling over his request. Her words are hushed with resignation when she responds. “Okay.”

It takes twenty minutes before Levi reaches a stopping point, but Mikasa is waiting patiently. He gets to his feet slowly, his knees cracking as he stands, sending sharp pains up his legs. Mikasa purses her lips at the noise and glances at his ankle before reaching out to him slowly. She takes the brush from his grasp, setting it down on one of the tables before raising his hands in hers so she can examine them. His hands ache from the constant use of the night and sting where the skin is dry and cracking from cleaning nonstop. Mikasa lightly traces his thumb over the split skin of Levi’s knuckles, red and angry as it heals. She looks down at her superior with a question in her eyes, cocking an eyebrow.

When Levi provides no answer, Mikasa supplies, “Training?”

Levi nods silently.

“You usually good about wrapping,” she comments.

“Today I didn’t.”

She hums in acknowledgement.

He furrows his brow as he speaks, catching her gaze once more. “What are you doing?”

Her eyes widen a fraction, a light dust of pink washing over her cheeks as she gives him a shy smile. She hides it behind her scarf quickly, but doesn’t drop his hands. “Isn’t it obvious?”

And then it hits him.

Levi suddenly understands her behaviors toward him, the regular offerings of tea, their quiet, shared moments together in the evenings. His jealousy from a few weeks ago is illuminated with clarity, as is the way his heart races around her and how his fingertips tingle with warmth.

“I suppose so,” he murmurs, huffing out a chuckle.

Mikasa doesn’t keep her smile from him this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will likely be a modern au unless y'all have anything specific you'd like to see :)
> 
> much love


End file.
